You're Only Steve Rogers to Me
by Idon'twriteIleak
Summary: Jessica Christenson is a new agent at the bottom of her class for S.H.I.E.L.D. But Jessica has more to offer than words on a page let on. She soon becomes an asset to both S.H.I.E.L.D. and some of its key members. Will the same stubborn issues that got in the way at the Training Academy come back to bite her? Can she become more than just a good agent, but a good friend to Steve?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own avengers, marvel, marvel characters and heroes, or the marvel universe. This is not for profit.**

"Let's make something very clear Agent Christenson. You are not here because of your superior merit or indispensability. You barely passed the Academy. You are here on trial." I wanted to wheel my swivel chair as far away from here as possible. Director Fury's gaze, despite lacking numbers, made up for it in sheer intensity.

I had been on the helicarrier all of five minutes before Director Fury had me tracked down and dragged to his office. Sure, I had been expecting something, eventually. But this was quicker and more blunt than anything I'd imagined.

"You will be here on a two week trial period. You will report to Agent Hill daily as well as complete a competency test at the commencement of the trial period. Are we understood?" What? That I would have a babysitter? Or that I had to pass the test I almost flunked a week prior? Or that Fury thought I am a sorry ass excuse for an Agent? Cause all of those had come across pretty clearly.

"As mud." Fury raised a warning eyebrow at me. I grit my teeth together in an effort to stop any more sarcastic comments from escaping. Well, that and out of anger.

"Yes, sir." He seemed more satisfied with this answer and turned back to face the deck. I guess this was my dismissal. I turned to walk away, almost making it to the safety of anywhere-without-Fury-in-it when he called me back one more time.

"Oh, and Agent Christenson? Agent Hill doesn't take fondly to disrespect to those in authority. So if you would like to stay here, I suggest you learn to hold your tongue." And that is exactly what I did as I stormed from the bridge.

Unpacking turned out to be a pain in my ass. My room was a cramped space with a bed a dresser and a small bathroom. It was barely big enough for that. It didn't take long to have it memorized like the back of my hand, which would be handy when I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. In a bathroom, I might add, that had no shower. That could only mean one thing. Community showers. It was like the Academy all over again. I groaned and collapsed on my bed.

So, two week trial run. I wouldn't have any duties considered to strenuous or important, there was no way in hell they'd entrust those to me. That left a lot of free time.

Except there would be that damn competency test.

I sighed and sat up. I didn't have anything else to do so I might as well hit the gym, because it's not like I did not want the job. I wanted the job. I want the job. So I'm going to work for it. Okay, I could do this. I'd made it through the Academy. Hell, I'd made it through the Academy with no prior experience. I could do this.

I switched of my S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform and opted for a pair of spandex leggings and a t-shirt instead. It had an Academy logo on it, but I'd never received one myself. Probably stole it. I couldn't remember.

I found the gym easily. The helicarrier wasn't too confusing, I guessed where it would be and stumbled upon it. A few other agents were already in the room scattered around, but at midmorning the rush had died down as most went off to complete assignments.

Instead of the wave of dread I had been expecting, I felt excited. Maybe that pushed it too far. I felt determined. I'd worked this hard already and I'm not going to let Fury get the better of me now. I just had to translate the badass in my head to the outside.

I hopped on a treadmill. It's going to be a long two weeks.

An hour later I hopped off the treadmill after four and a quarter miles. My time went down since the last competency test. Shit. Still, I had maintained my pace, which I'd never done at the Academy. I hadn't stopped to walk once. Not that my running was a step up from the speed of walking.

I could feel sweat catching on my eyebrow and pooling between my boobs. I love my rack, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to the gym, the thing was a damn curse. I looked down at my shirt and a circle of sweat below each armpit and down the front of my breasts betrayed me. It might not have been so bad if the other people in the room had been sweating too. The only problem was they all looked great.

I walked over to the least intimidating weights machine and read the instructions sticker. It looked simple enough. I shot a glance around the room to make sure no one was watching me again before I gave it a try. I pulled on the y-shaped handle with my feet anchored to the metal plate, but nothing. I got up to read the instructions again. That's when I saw someone had the weight at a hundred and ninety five pounds. I adjusted to something more my level. Like fifty. I didn't quite know how many reps to do so I did enough that I knew I would be sore in the morning. Or that night, Or five minutes after when I was working on the next machine.

Fury. Hill. Trial.

I pushed on holding that idea like the fucking staff of Moses.

Two hours later I came out of the gym in a dark grey t-shirt. It hadn't always been that color. I headed back to my room for a shower.

Right, community showers. Great.

I grabbed my bag of toiletries and headed into the showers, pulling the curtain securely shut before turning on the jet stream and letting it pound into my overworked muscles. The hot steam stirred up a lethargy and I almost dozed off in the shower when my stomach gave a pronounced and demanding growl. So food first, then nap.

The food hadn't helped my lethargy any, by the time I was almost done with my cafeteria burger I had been woken up several times by the agent next to me.

"Dude, are you okay?" I nodded and finished off the burger, feeling like I'd just eaten Thanksgiving dinner.

"Well, you've fallen asleep like four times...with food in your mouth. It was freaking me out, like I was going to have to give the heimlich or something." I laughed and appraised the woman sitting next to me.

She was older than I was, but not by much. Her hair was startlingly red, it wouldn't have been natural, but still it looked good on her. If I wanted to stay here longer than my two weeks it would be nice to have some friends.

"Sorry. Training all day. I'm about to drop." She raised a thin eyebrow.

"I think that's an understatement." What was I thinking trying to be friendly? I looked like a total incompetent weirdo. I blushed and gathered my trash.

"Well, I better go before I choke or something and cause a big scene. Hill would love that." I mentally slapped myself in the face on the way back to my room.

So my people skills could use some work too.

I needed a nap.

I didn't sleep too long so I would be able to sleep at night. Although my body screaming for my sheets made me seriously doubt that. I got up and dragged my butt back to the gym for another run before repeating my shower. I started falling asleep and was startled awake by the water turning cold.

I slipped on a pair of sweats before falling into bed, completely skipping the shirt. I was almost asleep and I hadn't even been in bed a full minute. My clock blinked nine fifteen in a constant pattern that lulled me to sleep…

Holy shit!

Hill.

Maria Hill.

I jumped out of bed, sending my sheets across the floor and bolted for the door, leaving it to swing wide open. I ran down the hall to the bridge. Agent Hill's attention was presently occupied with an Agent on a computer below, but not for long. As soon as I burst into the room all eyes were on me.

"Agent Hill-" I gulped a breath of air into my lungs. "I'm here! Reporting." Every muscle in my body burned and I hunched over with one hand on my knee as a cramp seized my side.

"Trial." Nothing else would come out of my breathless lungs.

Agent Hill stood erect, arms at her sides, face still facing forward, only her eyes looking down at me. She had one eyebrow raised but other than that her face was unreadable.

"Agent Christenson. Late on your first day. Does little to instill confidence." I cringed and stood at attention. I swallowed back a cry of pain.

"Agent Hill I apologize for my indiscipline. I can promise it won't happen again." I tried to keep my breathes even but my lungs still burned for air. Hill gave me a curt nod and I accepted that as my signal to leave.

"Oh, and Christenson?" Here it came. I turned around trying not to look as apprehensive as I felt. She had turned back to face the bridge, but every other pair of eyes still locked onto me.

"You might want to wear a shirt next time." I looked down at my coral colored bra and then back up to the thirty pairs of eyes. My cheeks got so warm I could probably fry an egg on my cheek bones. I nodded, trying to appear to have some semblance of dignity, but we all knew that went out the window the moment I stepped out of my room.


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't get out of bed.

Not that I physically couldn't. I was sore in places I didn't know had muscles. But that isn't what kept me rooted to my spot.

No, that was mortification.

The helicarrier had a grape vine for non-confidential, personal information that rivaled a quilting club. I would be branded batshit-crazy-bra-girl for the rest of my juration at S.H.I.E.L.D. Which, if I were to judge based on first impressions, would only be two weeks.

The Academy had sucked. I had been the bottom of the totem pole from the moment I got there and things never looked up. I had made it through that.

I could do this. I couldn't let the quilting club win and if I never came out of this room again, they did. I groaned until every last ounce of carbon dioxide had been released from my lungs.

Okay. I was going to get up. On the count of three. One. Two. My muscles refused to respond, but not for lack of trying. I managed to swing out of bed, but my limbs were stiff. I had to get onto a treadmill to work them out and warm them up. I never thought I would be looking forward to a treadmill.

I still couldn't keep from sticking my head out my door to peek out before leaving, half expecting the paparazzi swarmed around me door, waiting. I slipped outside and made it to the gym uneventfully. I slipped off my hoodie, which was probably overkill, into my tanktop and got onto the treadmill.

The first mile was it's own special kind of hell. Now, my muscles were starting to loosen up. I found my pace and started going at it. Today I'd remembered to bring my iPod and I put on some Pop to give me a good quick base line.

I cut my three mile time by ten minutes. Although it probably had less to do with improvement and had more to do with the fact that I hadn't been as lazy as the day before. But hey, I'd take it.

There was no way in hell I was lifting again so I found myself at a punching bag instead. I wrapped my hands, glad to find an activity I actually enjoyed. Before the Academy it had been the only skill I already had that was useful. Street fighting had proved to be different from combat training. I still enjoyed it nonetheless.

After my session of kickboxing I showered and redressed in S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform. I would just have to face the cafeteria. I'd have to go in there eventually or at the very least face someone who had heard about my little fashion faux paux. I rolled my shoulders back and with a deep breath I walked in.

I locked my eyes on the food buffet like it was the target of a mission. Get in, get out. No contact with civilians. I grabbed two sandwiches and an apple. I made it that far without even having to look up. Now, if I could find an inconspicuous seat, I'd be golden.

And that's when I looked up.

Okay, so I hadn't thought about the fact that just because I couldn't see them looking at me didn't mean they weren't. No one outright stared, but the stolen glances accompanied by whispers could have been worse. On top of that the smirks and head shakes didn't do much to help.

I found an empty table near the corner and took it. There were no nearby windows, which is probably why it was empty, but I'd eaten in worse at the Academy. I hoped no one was close enough to see the blush on my cheeks. I focused on my sandwich again, silently willing them to look away.

Okay. Eat Sandwich. Stay Hydrated. Get out. Mission complete. I could do that.

The chair in front of me squeaked across the floor and I jumped, eyes flicking up to study the brave intruder. To my relief the red-haired woman from the day before took a seat, carelessly dropping her tray onto the table.

"Hey?" I spoke around my sandwich, too shocked to swallow. She ignored me and dug right into her lunch. I stared for another minute, not quite sure what to do, before deciding to just go back to my sandwich.

"So I heard you're making quite the impression around here." Her nonchalant attitude put me on edge before it set me to ease.

"Because every new recruit dreams of being famous for forgetting articles of clothing." She shrugged but didn't look up from her lunch.

"Could have been worse."

"Ya, I could have forgotten my pants." I bit into my apple angrily. I had meant to be bitter, but the woman's mouth quirked up at the edges.

"Natasha Romanoff." I stopped chewing mid bite. Then choked on the half chewed piece of apple in my mouth and started coughing till I could swallow it down. It cut all the way down and by the time the process was over I had every eye on me again.

"Ya, I'm really starting to worry about your ability to properly masticate your food." She scoffed and turned back to her food.

I probably should have been more embarrassed. She was motherfucking Black Widow after all. I mean, Natasha Romanoff.

"Jessica Christenson." Natasha looked me over now that my face had a name.

"You always this clumsy Agent Christenson?"

I could always lie, but their was a reason I didn't to well at the Academy.

"I barely passed at the Academy." This didn't seem to bother her, maybe because she'd never been. Those who had usually saw it as some initiation. They took it a little too seriously.

"I heard. Fury's got you on watch huh?"

"More like he's got me being watched."

"Don't worry he can't see much with the one eye." Had Agent Romanoff just told a joke? I looked up at her over what was left of my sandwich, and she did indeed have the ghost of a smile on her lips. I let the one I'd been holding loose.

"You can call me Jessica." She gave me a more deeply appraising look, as if measuring me up for herself, instead of based on rumors.

"Natasha."

The third day hit me like a ton of bricks. The twice daily runs were whipping my ass and the different work outs had insured that nothing remained exempt from being sore. I hobbled to my dresser and dressed at a glacial pace.

When I finally got on the treadmill my eyes refused to stay open. I pumped up my music to keep me awake but I ran the full three miles with my eyes closed. And I don't mean because it was easy. When I got off I decided I'd give the strength training machines another try.

I figured I'd already embarrassed myself as much as possible, so I might as well ask someone how to use them. The gym was mostly empty. I was the only one that came in at this time everyday consecutively.

A guy on the other side of the gym was ripping into one of the punching bags.

Perfect.

He definitely looked like he knew what he was doing in a gym. In fact, he only got better looking as I got closer, which hadn't historically been the norm. Now, with him standing in front of me, in all his muscular glory, I lost my courage to say anything. His back muscles bulged under his shirt and his sweats did little to hid the solid steel ass underneath.

Why was I an agent again?

I mean ya, I got to see this, but I definitely wasn't the kickass bombshell that Romanoff was and I certainly didn't fit with guys like this.

I had figured most of them out myself on Monday anyway, I didn't have to talk to this guy. I'd just leave him to his super hot angsty boxing. Sounded like a plan. I turned to go back to the thing with the picture of the guy sticking out his legs using the bar, whatever that meant.

"Did you need something, ma'am?" Of course. Of course I couldn't escape without complication.

"No. I'm really fine." I turned back to face this thorn in my side. I was met by a pair of clear blue eyes and stellar cheekbones. His sandy blond hair hung long in the front in an effortless mess.

"Are you sure? You look a little winded ma'am." Maybe because I just got done running three fucking miles. This guy had been going at the bag for an hour and he'd barely broken a sweat.

"Really, I'm fine. You look very bus- holy shit! Did you break that?" My eyes wandered around him to his bag as I spoke and that's when I saw the broken bag on the floor.

"Uh, ya…" He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, sporting a schoolboy grin. Well, at this point I'd already called enough attention to myself and succeeded in making me look like a complete twit.

"Could you actually help me with some of these machines?" By the size of his arms he'd have to have spent hours in here. I swore I saw him blush.

"Actually, I don't know how to use them." I honestly felt a little disappointed though. Now that I'd used all that bravery and time to ask for help I didn't want to go back to looking at the pictures.

"Do you use free weights or something, because at this point I'm so clueless I could just use some help." He turned a darker shade of pink.

"Well, I don't really lift at all…" He seemed embarrassed by the confession. If I didn't have to lift for that body I would scream it to the world.

"Well, whatever you're taking I'll have some of that." He chuckled almost like I'd make an inside joke.

"You have no idea."

"Well, thanks useless, but I have to get back to trying to translate poorly made diagrams thanks to you." He gave me an incredulous expression. I almost broke my deadpan face, but I somehow managed to keep it up. I impressed myself sometimes.

"Have fun defacing S.H.I.E.L.D. property." I gestured to the broken bag with my chin before going off to the other side to use the squatting rack, the one thing I did know how to use.

**Author's Note: So, it sounds like our main character has finally had her first run in with one of the male Avengers...**

**I love the idea that Jessica is super spunky and Steve gets played off as a quiet, reserved guy. **

**Needless to say, I think it's gonna be great. At least I hope so! **


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up feeling loads better. I still felt like Thor had used me as a moving target for Mjolnir, but it was a good kind of sore. Like I was getting better. Agent Hill had okayed my activities, which I guess meant that I still couldn't be trusted to do anything but become a gym rat.

I threw on a S.H.I.E.L.D. issue sweatshirt and some gym shorts, which could have been for boys, but I didn't know. The gym happened to be deserted when I got there. Which meant that there would probably be something awesome going on right now, but I tried not to think about it. At least it meant I got the gym to myself.

I scoured the room for an ipod dock until I found a way to connect it to the stereo system. Now that I felt a little bit better I would be beating my body back into the ground today. Which meant music. Loud music. I put on my playlist and got on the treadmill. The sound surrounded me and motivated me to push faster. I shaved off two minutes.

I fist pumped as I got off of the treadmill and caught whiff of my armpit. I cringed and couldn't help but bust into breathless laughter. My muscles felt warm and loose so I took the opportunity to stretch. I sang along with the song.

"You've got something that I need!" I switched sides. "In this world full of people, there's one killing me. And if we only die once I want to die with you!" I sat on the ground to stretch my inner thigh.

"Last night I think I drank a little bit too much call it our temporary crush…" I stood up to stretch my arms and I came face to face with boxing guy. Like, giant shoulders guy. Like, blue eyes from a Disney prince guy.

"Hi." I couldn't be sure he heard me over the blaring music. I bit my cheek and looked around the room, trying not to feel awkward. He must not have heard me, because he just stood there, watching me like he'd never seen anything like me. Not that I blame him. Neither had I. Still, I didn't appreciate being stared at like I was equal parts crazy and eccentric.

We both started when 99 problems by Jay Z came on. I ran to the iPod and frantically started pushing buttons but not before it blared the first line. "If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son but I've got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one." Boxing guy's eyes were as wide as saucers when I turned back to him and I struggled to catch my breath.

"He meant a female dog!" I blurted, trying to make it better. He looked right at me then...and threw his head back and laughed.

"He did not mean a female dog." He wiped a tear away from his eyes as he came down from his outburst. I couldn't help but smile.

"Whatever you say. You're the felon." I shrugged. His mouth dropped open in indignation.

"Excuse me, but I am not a felon." It was my turn to have a hearty laugh.

"Yes, you are. Destruction of government property is a felony." He relaxed and smiled then. I guess he didn't much like being called a criminal. I'd better not tell him about my past crimes then.

"Says the one who probably just ruined S.H.I.E.L.D.'s speakers." His eyes had a mischievous glint and I had to fight back the physiological reaction to blush.

"Ya, but I could have just blamed that on somebody else. There aren't very many people on this ship who could punch through a sand bag." I had him beat. He gave his head a little shake, like he really couldn't believe I was for real. I just laughed and went back to searching for something on my iPod.

"So is that really what is popular these days?" I had gotten distracted by the songs and got lost.

"Not taking responsibility for negative consequences or Jay Z?" He grinned but shook his head again.

"Jay Z, whom I'm guessing is the author of that song?"

"Oh ya! Where have you been for the last ten years that you haven't heard of Jay Z? S.H.I.E.L.D. must have had you on some island in the middle of no where." Something about the look on his face told me that I couldn't be too far off.

"Just pray you never get sent there." He bantered back, but I sensed the underlying truth. I mean I was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent after all, and not as bad a one as my scores made me seem.

"Well, even if I did, I'd build a cell phone tower to get wifi." The blank look on my face told me he didn't understand part of my joke.

"Wifi. You know, it's short for wireless internet." They must have kept him somewhere excluded for at least five years.

"Oh right. I remember Natasha mentioning that. I have it on my phone." He held up the standard issue S.H.I.E.L.D. touch screen phone.

"You're friends with Natasha?" He actually seemed more surprised that I did.

"Ya, you are too?" Suddenly I felt like I had something to be embarrassed about, like little ol' me couldn't be friends with the great Black Widow.

"Well, not really. I just got on the Carrier three days ago. I met her at lunch a couple of times." He nodded like this clarified some great mystery for him. I, on the other had, continued to be lost.

"That would explain why we've never met." He sounded borderline arrogant when he said it, like everyone knew him.

"Did she tell you to call her Natasha?"

"Um….ya." Was there something wrong with that? If I hadn't surprised him earlier, than this certainly did.

"Well then I'm Steve Rogers." I reached forward and took his outstretched hand, it swallowed my own. He gave me a genuine smile that put me at ease. I felt like his scrutiny had finally come to an end.

"Jessica Christenson." His cheeks bloomed into a bright blush and I could have sucker punched myself in the face. Of course he'd recognize my name. Everyone had to know Agent Underwire Christenson. I retracted my hand and brought it to cradle my waist.

"And there it comes. You probably didn't recognize me with my clothes on." I tried to play it off with self-deprecating humor. I brushed a stray hair back behind my ear and waited for him to say something. Anything.

"It's just that I'm on trial period for two weeks and I have to report to Agent Hill everyday and I forgot and I had just fallen asleep and I got up such a hurry…" I couldn't take the silence any longer and the whole story came pouring out of my mouth like vomit. Not very pleasant imagery, but accurate.

"I don't normally walk around in my underwear." I finished lamely, eyes downcast. He was wearing combat boots, but they weren't standard. I couldn't quite place them.

"I wouldn't want you to think that I participate in common gossip and I would never judge you for anything that was said." My eyes widened so that I could see more of the ground and then more of Steve as I met his gaze. I swallowed thickly before I spoke.

"What are they saying?" It came out too quiet. Almost weak. He looked away, his hands shoving in his pockets in a failed attempt to make himself smaller.

"I'd rather not repeat it ma'am." That bad. I could handle whatever it happened to be they were saying. It would be easier if I knew what it was.

"Its Jessica, Steve." I could feel the anger rising in me now. I'd taken this kind of shit for too long at the expense of S.H.I.E.L.D. "What are they saying?" I didn't sound weak now. My tone was commanding, akin to what I had been taught to use in the Academy.

"That you are a seven. I'm guessing on a scale of ten. And that many of them would like to...um...engage in intercourse with you. There were many comments on your, um, breasts. Especially about when you bend down." He looked severely uncomfortable and his voice kept breaking, but I felt relieved. "I guess that some women these days wouldn't think that was so bad, I guess I'm just an old-fashioned kind of man." I softened and gave him a grateful smile.

"Most of the guys here are pigs, but I'm just glad it's not about my abilities as an agent." I looked down at my iPod and caught the time.

"Oh man! I'm going to miss lunch!" I grabbed my water bottle and my iPod and rushed off toward the door. I couldn't get one last question out of my head though.

"Hey Steve? A seven is good right?" His laugh met me before his smile as he turned around.

"I'd have said a nine." I felt nervousness rising in my chest but I forced the persistent butterflies down.

A joke. I needed a joke. A bad joke could smash them like a rock.

"Cause you're the only one I need." I gave him a wink before running off to the cafeteria to meet Natasha. I could still feel the faint flutter of a single survivor.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey Natasha. Sorry I'm late I met some guy in the gym." I plopped down beside her and she gave me a once over. "Ya, sorry I know. No time to shower and change." I doubted she even had any problems after a workout. I should probably ask her if she knew how to work the weight machines.

"So who was this guy?" She gave me a knowing look and I tried to mentally stamp out the remaining butterfly.

"He says you guys are friends. Steve Rogers." It was her turn to choke on her food. She turned on me immediately, suddenly uncharacteristically interested in my day.

"Steve?" I sighed and put down my sandwich, unable to contain all of my disappointment. Natasha was probably going for him already and there wouldn't be much of a competition. I'd concede before I even tried.

Wait, what was I thinking? I'd just met the guy briefly two days ago.

"Well, that's what he told me his name was. That is after I called him a felon and told him Jay Z meant female dog when he said 'bitch' and then I told him I normally wear clothes." I took another grumpy bite of my sandwich. "So if looking like a woman who spent a week baking under the Sahara desert didn't deter him my terrible people skills did."

Natasha laughed. She laughed. I looked up, startled by the unrepentant sound.

"Steve doesn't have any people skills so you're just fine."

"Ya well. I've got ninety nine problems and people skills and Steve Rogers are two of them." Natasha laughed a little quieter this time, but she remained intent on hearing the story in its entirety.

"Oh come on, he's a little old-fashioned, but he's a good guy." She almost sounded like she was trying to sell him to me.

"The guy didn't know what wifi stood for and I'm not sure what I did that scandalized him the most...as in it was all bad." I pictured his blushing face and the way his bicep flexed when he scratched the back of his neck.

That damn butterfly started up again.

"See, old-fashioned. He just doesn't keep up with the times." She caught onto me though. "But the conversation wouldn't be bothering you so much if you didn't like him." I let my jaw drop at the suggestion, but she was stubborn as hell, and probably right. Well, until I exterminated that butterfly for good before it could lay it's stupid butterfly eggs.

"Okay. Let's make a list shall we? I'm too spunky for him, he works for S.H.I.E.L.D., I'm too busy trying not to lost my job, guys don't go for me especially not ripped gentlemanly ones, and half the people on this ship think I'm crazy including him." Natasha remained unfazed, literally her face deadpanned.

"That's the stupidest list I've ever heard." By now I was growing impatient.

"Natasha, we've been friends for like two days. You don't even know that I'm not crazy!" She just rolled her eyes.

"Just give him a try, no one's saying you have to date him." The one butterfly in my stomach disagreed to that.

After my nightly run and shower I met up with Agent Hill in the bridge. I noticed more people came in with during this time, probably expecting me to pull of my shirt again.

"I see you're logging three to four hours everyday in the gym since you've been here. It shows consistency. I'd like to put you on a project though." Mental fist pump.

Finally.

Hill glared at me. She'd probably seen my sass in my eyes. That had always gotten me into trouble with my fitness coach in the Academy.

"You will be taking a backseat on the Avengers Initiative project." Holy shit. This was it. The big leagues. This time she must have seen my excitement.

"You'll be in charge of seeing the Avengers to and from debriefings including collecting them in necessary." Stark. Everyone knew he had to be dragged into Fury's presence like a child having a tantrum. Or she meant Banner. Hopefully not Banner.

"Understood Agent Hill." I didn't want to screw this up and if that meant burying the humor I used to ease my nerves I could do that.

"Christenson let me make this clear that this assignment is your last chance." I nodded eyes trained straight forward till dismissal.

I couldn't wait to tell Natasha. Honestly I could care less about the Avengers they were just glorified agents. It was the responsibility I was excited about. Hill was right. This would be my last chance.

"Hey!" I had my fist ready to meet the face of whoever had pulled my right ear plug out of my ear. These things were a bitch to get to stay in while I ran.

That train of thought slammed on the brakes when I came face to face with Steve on the treadmill next to me.

"Didn't think you'd hear me through those little speakers." I rolled my eyes and refocused on my run.

"So did you still need someone to help you train?" I shot him a sideways glance up and down like I actually doubted his ability to fill the position. That's not what I was skeptical of though.

"Why? Are you offering?" I was no longer huffing so bad when I ran, so the words came out fairly easy.

"Well, I mean, if you want. I could help. I know boxing and military drills." He seemed to lose his confidence under my gaze so I looked away again.

"You mean 'Give me twenty more maggots'? That's not really my style." Silence followed and when I looked over at him he looked in between hurt I'd suggest he'd say that and intrigued and confused by my military knowledge.

"My brother went military. You don't look like the drill sergeant sort of guy though." I reassured, but just when he got comfortable I couldn't help myself.

"Well, except the pecs." He chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. I succeeded in breaking the ice.

"You gonna except the offer or what?" I finished the last of the run and slammed off my treadmill.

"You've got a deal." We shook sweaty hands.

"You ever boxed?" I gave his hand a menacing squeeze before I pulled away.

"You have no idea."

Steve decided to test that so he set me up with a punching bag after I wrapped my hands.

"Okay, so just go for it at first so I can get an idea of your form and technique." I shrugged and started into the bag. It took me a few hits to get my groove.

"Okay that's good." I stopped and swept the stray hair from my face. Steve's lips thinned as he thought, a slight furrow in his brow.

"Well, you're good, but you fight dirty. You have good form, but surprisingly your dominant hand, the right, is weaker." I didn't even know some of that. He had watched carefully, I was impressed.

"I over practiced with my left because I didn't want a weak spot." Which I'd apparently developed from that.

"Where'd you learn to fight?" He put up another bag next to me for demonstration as he spoke, hefting the bag over his shoulder like it weighed nothing.

"High school. Well, middle school. I just perfected it in high school. My parents weren't really around so I just did whatever I wanted, which usually meant trouble. Drag races, trespassing, and fights were preferences." I practiced my hits with my right, trying to build it up a little more.

"Who's the felon now?" I laughed, throwing off my arm for a minute. Steve had a good sense of humor. I liked it. "How'd you get into S.H.I.E.L.D. with a track record like that?" I shrugged before going back to pummeling the bag.

"You want the truth?" I barely knew this guy and information is leverage. I didn't really want him to have too much of it.

"That'd be preferable." I rolled my eyes as I turned to face him, without even looking at him I knew he was being snarky.

"Fine, but you have to tell me your S.H.I.E.L.D. backstory." He almost seemed to withdraw at that but gave a cautious nod.

"I broke into the Academy to use their Olympic size swimming pool...to skinny dip. I got caught, but I beat up the guy who tried to bring me in." I swear I caught Steve blushing at the idea of me skinny dipping, or getting caught naked, or just being naked.

"The Academy had a pretty fortified security system. I impressed them. Of course then I pretty much flunked out of school." I turned back to the bag and starting letting into it.

"Why? I mean you're obviously smart enough to do just fine." I stilled. Information is leverage and I didn't want him having that much on me.

"Which is why Agent Hill gave me my first assignment." I plastered a smile on my face.

"Great!" Steve congratulated me with genuine enthusiasm. It bolstered my confidence.

"It's just babysitting the Avengers for debriefing, but its responsibility. It's a test. So all I got to do is put on my Agent face and kick some ass." Steve seemed intrigued at a deeper level upon hearing my assignment.

"Wait, so you don't like the Avengers?"

"Don't be so shocked! I'm grateful for everything they did in New York and all, but when they're not this band of heroes they're just Agents. I just don't see the hype, they're just like the rest of us. Well, except for the enhancements, the millions of dollars, and the smoking hot bodies." I couldn't help but chuckle at my own humor. It was only funny to me most of the time anyway. Steve was looking at me curiously. After a minute it made that stupid butterfly act up and I have to stifle it somehow.

"So you owe me an answer now." Steve started and ran a tired hand through his hair. It sprang in all directions in that effortless style again.

"I was military before I was recruited to S.H.I.E.L.D. during wartime. I left for a while, but they found me and brought me back." Well, that would be S.H.I.E.L.D. for you. His story was too condensed though and he kept a lot of the information to himself. His eyes clouded, the way a person's do when they're remembering too much. The air hung still so that the only sound was the faint clinking of weights and the hum of a treadmill.

"Ya I didn't think you were the get recruited while naked type." I pulled him out of it, unable to see him in the painful memories any longer.

"So you have to babysit the Avengers huh?" I nodded and we both snapped out of it to go back to our bags, Steve with renewed vigour.

"My job is transport to and from debriefing which includes being responsible for attendance. So Stark better get his shit together or I may be out of a job. Not that I can't deal with him. Trust me, there's enough like him back at the Academy." The memory made me punch just a little bit harder.

"I'll have to let Tasha know." He said with a chuckle.

"I'm going to see her at lunch. Why don't you join us today?" Steve considered the offer before smiling.

"I'd very much like that. I'll meet you there."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Natasha. Hey Steve." My hair still dripped slightly from my shower in its place down my back. I popped open the lid of my orange drink before they responded.

"Looks like your training is going well." My eyes widened without my permission. I couldn't believe she would make underhanded remarks with Steve right there.

"What?" Natasha caught the hidden meaning and smiled. "Your hands." I looked down at my bruised and red knuckles. Some had cracked a little. Steve reached across the table, brow furrowed in deep concentration. He looked my hand over.

"You should have said something." I shrugged and snatched my hand back. The contact had woken up the butterfly and by the feel of it she was all better from the last time I'd tried to stamp her out.

"It's the job."

"Speaking of job, Steve told me they finally gave you one." I nodded, a little more willing to talk because of Natasha's presence.

"To tell the truth, I think they're just worried about me interacting with other agents. My skills are all there. Fury knows it. Hill knows it. Just because I play the clown doesn't mean I am the clown." They wanted to make sure I didn't go psycho bitch crazy if someone tried any kind of sexual harassment. I knew it. Hill knew it. Probably why they put me with Stark. Probably didn't want me starting fights either. So, I'd done it at the Academy, but that was juvenile. There would be no way I would do that here.

"Is that why you did so poorly at the Academy?" Steve's question hit home and my grip tightened on my orange juice bottle.

"The Academy is an initiation." I wouldn't say more, but it hadn't been a non answer. Initiation had connotations.

"I asked Fury about you. Said you're a good shot too." Natasha spoke up. She seemed to sense what I meant and that I didn't want to talk about it. Steve just stared at his plate with the his face screwed up in concentration.

"Told you I got skills." That I'm too insecure to use, so what good would they do me. I looked up from my plate with my fake smile on to Steve's and Natasha's eyes boring into mine.

"You don't have to do that." I froze, not evening having to feign confusion. But if I was really honest with myself I knew what they meant.

"You don't have to put on a facade with us." Natasha's words hit deep. I had been putting on a facade. I'd been putting one one my whole life and to be honest, I didn't know who I am without it.

"Okay." I didn't have to say anymore because in those syllables for the first time, I told the whole truth.

Four hours at the gym is killer for your body. I had no energy for anything else, but I was above where I was supposed to be for the competency test with just one week left. That and my muscles looked great.

"Steve! We deserve a celebration!" I was lying on my back on the gym floor, probably in a puddle of my own sweat, but I had made it. Steve laughed and pulled me up by the hand, causing me to stumble forward a little bit.

"I think you might be right about that."

"Of course I am." He rolled his eyes and gave me a warning look which I playfully ignored.

"Okay, I'll pick you up at your room after your night run." I tensed a little. This sounded suspiciously like a date.

"For what?" My eyes narrowed. Old-fashioned or not. Friend or not. Steve is still a guy.

"The celebration." He saw my distrust and laughed, the sound almost succeeded in putting me at ease.

"Will you just trust me Jessie?" His nickname broke me.

"I trust you Steve." I did trust him. More than I had trusted anyone in a really long time. He held me gaze as I said it so that the words went straight from my heart to his.

"Agent Christenson?" I turned to face the voice, my face blushing for no practical reason at all. We had just been talking after all. I cleared my throat before I could speak.

"Yes Agent?"

"Agent Hill would like to speak to you on the bridge." My stomach did a sickening flip flop. I gave the agent a curt nod. Following his exit I wound myself unable to move temporarily.

"Really good or really bad." I whispered to myself trying to determine the likelihood of both. Steve pressed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. It gave me the courage to move forward.

"See you tonight." I didn't wait to find Agent Hill.

"Agent Christenson you will be bringing in Ironman tomorrow at 1500 hours. Your task is simple. Escort Stark from where the rest of the Avengers will be waiting on the landing pad down to the conference room where Fury will be waiting." I waited for further instructions. The minutes stretched by.

"That's all Christenson." I nodded and left abruptly. Afraid I would betray my true feelings.

I didn't have the heart to do anything special before Steve got here. I pulled on a pair of jeans that didn't quite fit right anymore and a babydoll T. I was counting the turns of the fan when he knocked on the door.

"Come in." At first I didn't think he heard me, but then the door swung open and he stayed put in his place.

"Wow. Your room is really tiny."

"And yours isn't?" Steve didn't answer and I didn't move.

"I said you could come in."

"But it's your private quarters." Steve was so well mannered sometimes it made me feel like a heathen.

"Steve I appreciate the respect, but we both trust each other." He stepped in at that, losing some of his reservations. I flicked my eyes back up to the fan. Five hundred and fifty eight, nine, sixty, sixty one, two, three…

"Everything go alright with Hill?" He sounded genuinely concerned but I couldn't see his face.

"I'm still here aren't I?" I hadn't meant for it to come out so biting.

"If you're upset you don't have to take it out on me Jessica." He called me out on it and it doubled my guilt.

"I know, I'm sorry. She just didn't trust me with any information except the bare minimum and I feel...demeaned." I couldn't find the word I wanted to describe two feet tall. Steve stepped in front of me and pulled me up. I felt slightly dizzy after watching the fan for so long.

"Come on, I have something to cheer you up." I sighed but followed, I didn't really care where we were until we got close to the pad.

"Where are we going?" He grinned like an idiot from ear to ear. Not that Steve could look like an idiot, but if anyone else tried it, they would. We went up a flight of stairs I didn't recognize before popping up in the airstrip control tower. It was empty and dinner was already set up on the floor in the middle of the room. On all four walls were windows so that when we sat down we were surrounded by stars.

"Steve!" I flung around to pull him into an appreciative hug. I think that's the moment I knew I would be screwed.

Because the butterflies were back.

"How did you get this?" I gestured around to the tower around us as I sat down.

"I know a guy." I rolled my eyes at his stereotypical masculine answer. He smiled just watching my excitement. It was perfect. Exactly the pick me up I needed. Steve handed me a bottle of wine and a plate of food that definitely didn't come from the cafeteria.

"This is amazing! I can't believe you got all this stuff so quick!" Steve chuckled and I looked up at him shyly, realizing I had been gushing.

"I told you I know a guy."

"Oh really? And who would that be?" I teased and he got flustered. Yep, caught him. "Whoever he is he'd have to be Captain America to get Fury to agree to this."

"Maybe it is? Maybe I got Captain America to do this?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Not possible, because he's not on the ship." Steve raised an inquisitive eyebrow in challenge.

"No! I can't say anymore! You're trying to get my assignment details!" I hated not just being able to tell him about the first real assignment I'd received, which is why I'd given up on dating since I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.

That's when it hit me.

This is suspiciously like a date. Picking me up. Stars. Wine. Nice Food. Alone. Butterflies.

I put my food gently down.

I didn't want this. I liked Steve. Liked Steve too much but my brain screamed a million reasons why this would be a bad idea.

"Steve. This is a date." His smile disappeared not at my words, but at my tone.

"This is an opportunity for two people to get to know each other." His words were firm, keeping me from running off right there.

"It's not like I wouldn't like to go on a date with you, but we are Agents Steve. We don't get that luxury. Like today, I have to keep something really important to me away from you." Steve nodded but handed me back my food.

"Then as two friends." I accepted the offering but it made my heart ache a little.

"Why didn't you just do well in the Academy? You could have skipped this mess?" I took a sip of my wine. It tasted expensive, too expensive for a simple field agent. He must have gone all out.

"I did great at everything, just not the people. Remember how I said it's like initiation?" He nodded, listening intently.

"Well, it didn't go over well how I got it. I was already a bit old for the program at twenty four and then there was the trespassing and the…It just put me off on the wrong foot. I got hazed a lot and consequently I wasn't a team player. Something very important to S.H.I.E.L.D. That's why I have to jump through hoops now." Steve fiddled with his food for a minute before he spoke up, but silences with him had never felt strange.

"You know I wasn't always the man you see before you now. I went through a very similar experience. I remember one time I picked a fight with a guy three or four times my size and got the tar beat out of me. It was for an honorable reason I assure you." I laughed because I hadn't doubted him for a minute.

"I don't want to lose this job, as hard as it is sometimes. As much as I have to sacrifice." I let my eyes dart to Steve. "But it's all I have. My mom was deadbeat so I learned to be street smart. I got into trouble. My brother joined the military to get out of it but Iraq got him. S.H.I.E.L.D. is all I got." Maybe it was the dark or the intent gaze of Steve's blue eyes, but suddenly I didn't care so much if he had the leverage.

"You are a survivor, that's for sure, but I think sometimes you are so used to fighting things you forget there's a time to stop."

"Surrender?" I teased, but he shook his head. He knew I felt too exposed so I was trying to pull shut again, distracting him with my teasing.

"I just don't want to be my past Steve." As scared as I was to embrace the chance to be someone new, I was more scared to stay the same.

"I understand more than you know."


End file.
